Thursday, February 12, 2009

Word Thursday

Juror
-Noun
  1. one of a group of persons sworn to deliver a verdict in a case submitted to them; member of a jury. 
  2. one of the panel from which a jury is selected 
  3. one of a group of people who judge a competition.
  4. a person who has taken an oath or sworn allegiance.


Thus, I have been summoned for Jury Duty in about two weeks.
(Enter Dragnet Theme Music here.)


OK; here is the problem I have with this "Duty"


If "It is the Duty of every citizen to preserve this right by serving as a juror when called upon to do so", then why are we threatened with a $100 dollar fine and Contempt of Court? As I read "Contempt of Court", it seems to me (not being the sharpest axe in woodshed) that the Honorable Judge has license to bust balls for anything he/she may interpret as disrespectful or impeding the progress of his/her court. Suppose, just for conjecture that this Judge woke up and did not get laid or something as equally important and then gets a huge case of the red ass just before entering his/her court? The dutiful citizen is then about to be hosed by said Judge, then placed into the overcrowded court system for contempt of court and a fine. At this point the citizen just really, in all actuality, finds the whole process of jury duty worth the whole contempt of court charge. This along with your fine and the fact the Judge seems to think that money grows on trees.
Along with all this drama I cannot wear my lucky football jersey either.







There also seems to be a sort of "Dress Code". I am sure as I ever was, that this, this is where the "contempt of court" will come in handy for said red assed Judge. I remind myself of the movie My Cousin Vinny.
Judge Chamberlain Haller: Mr. Gambini, didn't I tell you that the next time you appear in my court that you dress appropriately?
Vinny Gambini: You were serious about that?

To recap: I have to wear a tie for the Judge, and God himself does not require a tie.  This is just wrong. This will be the longest day of my life.

PhotobucketThere is also a quite lengthy list of fun or useful things you cannot bring to court like the following:

I understand most of these can be used as weapons. I would really be concerned with any dutiful citizen who would try to bring these things with them for Jury Duty. I am surprised tights are not on this list.
Jury Duty sucks unless you live in the inner city.
This is going to be worse than it was in Phoenix, if possible.

6 comments:

  1. I've always enjoyed Jury Duty when I've had it. I begged out of it one time, right after I'd had back surgery, but all the other times, it was a source of great entertainment. :D

    ReplyDelete
  2. Diller21:47

    Your in for a great experience,look around when you get there,you'll see the dress code is a humongous joke,everything from jeans and tees,to three piece suits. Wonderful place to come to the realization,that a jury of your peers,may damn well be impossible. When I returned from my last summons,I stared into space and drank heavily for several days.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Breast implants. There's nothing in that notice specifying that you can't bring breast implants into the jury room. Keep about four of them in each of your front pockets.

    Play with those babies for a while like a sloppy silicon Slinky™ and you'll be home feeding the cats in no time.

    Gee, what's with the postacomment interface? Itsa no workwork

    ReplyDelete
  4. You are a genius Sig. I bet I would get a lot of room in the Jury pool Room too.

    I have always wanted to sit around in public and play with fake titties.

    You are the second person that mentioned problems with the comment interface. I am working it right now.

    ReplyDelete
  5. Are slim jims weapons now?

    ReplyDelete
  6. Awwww slim jims, the 6 food group, and other white meat......

    Hey you want to get out of jury duty, just tell them you hate everyone and can't be fair or impartial.... You'll get an easy and early duck on this!!!

    Or better yet, your a woman trapped inside a mans body..........

    Or the one to surely get you thrown off...Tell them you DIDN'T vote for Obama.....That would be a sure escort to the door!!!

    Lmaoo

    ReplyDelete

Thank you for taking the time to comment.

Where are the Photo credits?

I find most the images uncredited on random sites, but I will add credits if someone lets me know who the has the rights to the image.

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